Skeletal Embrace / Seven Day Story / Blag
Week 22 - 14th July 2005
By Majere

So.. fancy dress, is it? A frenzy of Blue Peter action later (less, sadly, the "here's one I prepared earlier" stage) and your intrepid correspondent is attired as a Samurai warrior, complete with a very useful fan. Interestingly, it appears that the ancient Japanese had little access to automotive transport, given the fact that the do-maru breastplate is entirely incompatible with sitting in a car. Or indeed, anywhere. The multi-layered nature of said cardboard protection also leads to certain... problems in the lavatorial department. But enough of this sartorial prattling- on to the final!

SEVEN DAY STORY

Nudging into the final in third place on the leaderboard, Seven Day Story have it all to do tonight. Their myspace profile lists some 70+ 'friends'- and tonight it seems they've finally turned up. In stark contrast to their third round performance, the band find themselves playing to an almost full dancefloor. As so often happens in the competition, the crowd's energy galvanises the band, who respond by playing a superbly tight set. Seven Day Story are a band who like to demand a lot of their audience- every shout has to be done again, louder; every burst of clapping is met by the frontman's upraised arms and quizzical expression as he calls for more. Sometimes, if the crowd isn't there, it doesn't work. Tonight is not one of those times. Though as always the crowd ebbs a little throughout the set, the response is vocal and enthusiastic, even generating some half-decent response in the singalong sections of "Better Than You". The party atmosphere is infectious, and Seven Day Story do themselves no harm by taking time out to praise the night's other bands. Their outfits may look a little tamer than usual by contrast to the harlequin mob on the dancefloor, but this has been a sterling performance.

INTERLUDE #1

Air guitar contest! All right, I'll admit that I didn't see who won, but the level of foolishness both on the floor and when individuals are called up on stage to strut their stuff is nothing but praiseworthy. Armour damage report- one Kasuzuri is detached from the rear before it can fall off. If you know what that means, I salute you.

SKELETAL EMBRACE

With the imaginary guitars banished, it's time for a band that without a shadow of a doubt play the real thing. Despite sitting as the malevolent filling in a sandwich whose bread is distinctly lighter in tone, Skeletal Embrace are taking no prisoners as usual tonight. Indeed, given the specialised nature of the Embrace's appeal, it's probably a Marmite sandwich. But just like last week, there are many ready to make a meal of said meaty spread as the floor first fills, then heaves. Whereas only a week ago the moshers were content largely to keep to their own space, tonight the pit is a live thing that threatens to devour any who venture too close. It's fair to say that even for those who stand on the other side of the Marmite issue, Skeletal Embrace have earned a great deal of respect, and here once again they show why, playing a brutally effective set with barely a word or gesture wasted. It's been said that their songs are too similar, or that the vocals aren't clear enough, but if anyone at the front has heard of such concerns, they certainly don't care. The energy level is too much for some, and the pit dwindles a little by the end of the set, but 'Crown of Pallid Shadows' is once again a highlight as a set-closer. It's not exactly accurate to say Rosie's doesn't know what's hit it, but like a boxer on the end of a second count against Mike Tyson, it knows damn well that it's been hit!

INTERLUDE #2

Well, with DJ Trigger judging the fancy dress a samurai was never likely to be a winner, but let's face it, someone of my legendary coordination would have a drastically shorter life expectancy should they come into posession of an electric scooter. In the end, the coveted jumped-up skateboard is won by a worryingly unconvincing transvestite who looks like Dave Grohl in the 'Learn To Fly' video. It will later emerge that a certain BOTB forum mod missed out on the prize due to Trigger thinking he actually was a woman.... Anyway, time to get out of the armour and spend the rest of the night being asked if I'm a black belt. (Answer: No, brown)

BLAG

If a prize for 'best-dressed band' were being presented tonight, Blag would, well, blag it. Sporting a pin-stripe and pork-pie hat look in the finest retro ska tradition, they look the business, and have garnered easily the biggest crowd of the night. Things do go a little pear-shaped at the start though, when anarchy follows the soundcheck to the extent that the set nearly starts twice before Suzi can introduce it. No sooner have Blag (officially) got going than problems arise again, with a guitar expiring in a noisy mass of feedback leading to half a track being played without it before a stop-gap solution can be reached. Eventually, the problem is apparently traced to a foot pedal misbehaving in a way that I confess to utterly failing to understand. Through all of these tribulations, Blag persevere with their usual cheeky good humour- and a quick note must be made of bassist Kelle's excellent throwing arm which manages to land a Blag CD right at the feet of your lucky correspondent. The crowd reaction is excellent throughout, reaching ground-shaking proportions at times due to synchronised bouncing and at other times rather worrying Rosie's security. There are a few problems with the frontman's voice tonight, it seems, due perhaps to the technical problems or the lateness of the hour, but once again 'Arthur' comes to the rescue, generating what is hands-down the best singalong of the competition- and yes, I am counting THAT set by THAT band. By the time things come to a slightly bewildering end (exactly who was the other fellow with the guitar?) it's become clear that Blag are a superb band, but one who have perhaps not had their best night.

THE RESULT

So, after the longest fifteen minutes since Captain Oates said 'back in a quarter of an hour, chaps' the results are in! And holding the oversized cheque for £250 are third-placers Blag, with Skeletal Embrace picking up £500 for second and Seven Day Story walking off with a cool grand! Much back-slapping, hand-shaking and other rituals are observed, with gifts of alcohol passed out to the BOTB judges and sound crew, and the firm resolution that we'll all be doing it again next year.
Hmm... next time maybe a LADY samurai......

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